Being in an enduring, intimate relationship can be one of the most meaningful and satisfying experiences a person can have. But none of us is really prepared for what it takes; capability is only built through on-the-job training. You give it your best shot with the capacity you have, the things you know to do. And when the challenges of your marriage or relationship start to outstrip that capacity, you can find yourselves feeling unhappy and stuck:
“We don’t really fight, we just don’t feel close.”
“I know what my partner’s problems are, but I can't get him/her to change.”
"If it's this hard, doesn't it mean it's just not right?"
“We need help, but I’m worried that going to therapy will rock the boat and make things worse.”
"After an infidelity, how can we ever have trust again?"
“He/she is not the person I fell in love with!”
“The demands of working and raising a family seem relentless - all we do is fight over who’s not doing enough.”
"Sex just isn't going well."
In couples therapy, we look together at the ingredients of your relationship: who each of you is, and how you relate to each other. We see how it makes sense that you've run into the particular difficulty you're having. You begin to form a new perspective on yourself as well as on your partner. Most important, we identify ways each of you can change your approach - to yourself and to your partner - to lead to a more satisfying and loving relationship. As you incorporate those changes, each of you grows your capacity for creating and maintaining a marriage or relationship you can treasure.
I work with heterosexual, gay and lesbian couples. Couples therapy sessions are 80 minutes in length.